Why "Suicide Awareness Month" Could Help Survivors Heal
September is recognized as Suicide Prevention Month, a campaign designed to raise awareness about suicide and the importance of preventing it. Suicide prevention is crucial. We all want to save lives and help those struggling with mental illness. But as someone who has lost two brothers to suicide, I feel the need to also bring attention to the experience of those who are left behind - the survivors of suicide loss.
Prevention efforts are essential in saving lives, but I want to focus on another side of this conversation: supporting those who have already experienced the unimaginable loss of a loved one to suicide. For many of us, the term "prevention" can be painful because we already wrestle with the haunting question: Could I have done more?

Balancing Prevention and Awareness
It’s not that I believe "Suicide Prevention Month" is wrong. I deeply support efforts to help those who are struggling, and I applaud the work of many organizations dedicated to saving lives. But for those of us who have lost someone to suicide, the focus on prevention can sometimes feel like a reminder of our worst fears - that maybe we missed something, or could have somehow changed the outcome.
This is why I believe there’s also room for a conversation about Suicide Awareness Month. By shifting some of the focus to awareness, we create space for both education on preventing suicide and compassionate support for those who have experienced loss.
Awareness opens the door to understanding the complexities of suicide without placing blame on those left behind. It invites us to discuss the realities of mental illness, how it can overtake someone, and how, despite our best efforts, we can still lose loved ones. For me and many others, awareness is about making space for grief, healing, and the difficult truths that accompany this kind of loss.
A Personal Reflection on Suicide Loss
When I was 23, my brother Rollo died by suicide. Six years later, my other brother Scott died the same way. To explain this clearly, I'll need to address it in a separate piece of writing. Suffice to say, our family was absolutely caught off guard when Rollo died - despite our knowing that he was suffering immeasurably from cluster headaches (if you know anything about them, you’ll know the suicide rates are very high in this population due to the excruciating and debilitating pain).
Six years later, when my brother Scott also died by suicide, I knew deep down that we had done everything we could. Medications, counseling, shock treatments, psychiatric care—you name it. No stone was left unturned to get him the help he needed. And yet, he still died by suicide. I believe Scott always struggled with mental illness, but it became fully activated after Rollo’s death. I also believe that Scott was traumatized by the experience of losing his brother and had very little grief support, if any.
The guilt that comes with suicide loss is overwhelming. You question yourself endlessly: Could I have seen the signs earlier? Could I have done more? But the truth is, once a person reaches a certain point in their mental struggle, it can be incredibly difficult to change the course of what happens.
One evening shortly after we lost Rollo, our family doctor and friend came to our house. We sat on the tailgate of his truck, and he shared a lot with me about what had happened (Rollo had called him before he died).
He explained that while we don’t fully understand suicide, we do know that humans have a primal instinct to survive. He gave the example of drowning - how people might instinctively pull others down with them in a desperate attempt to save themselves. He reminded me that when we face life-threatening situations, we fight to survive. But in cases of suicide, a point may come where someone has already made their decision, and there’s little anyone can do. He was trying to comfort me, and himself, I think. But it made sense, and I’ll never forget that conversation. It helped relieve the guilt I carried for not doing something to stop Rollo’s death.
Awareness as a Path to Healing
This is where Suicide Awareness Month can play a powerful role. Raising awareness helps reduce the stigma surrounding mental illness and suicide, while also providing support to the families and friends who have lost someone to it.
Awareness fosters empathy, understanding, and connection. It allows us to have open, honest conversations about suicide without placing blame. And most importantly, it creates a space for survivors to grieve and heal.
Supporting Survivors of Suicide Loss
My work is focused on creating spaces for those who have lost loved ones to suicide. While prevention is key in addressing the mental health crisis, we must also turn our attention to the survivors - the ones who are left behind to navigate the complexities of grief and loss. I know firsthand how isolating it can feel to lose someone this way, and that’s why I’m committed to supporting others who have experienced the same.
I am launching a Suicide Loss Survivors Circle. This circle is designed to provide a safe, compassionate space for survivors to share their stories, find community, and heal. If you or someone you know has lost someone to suicide and is seeking support, I invite you to join us.
We may not always be able to prevent suicide, but we can raise awareness, offer understanding, and provide the support that survivors so deeply need. You can learn more about the Suicide Loss Survivors Circle and the General Grief Circle starting in October here.
Thank you for being part of this community, and for helping to spread awareness and compassion in the world.
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