Ancestors in the Making

“I am a bridge between those who came before and those who will follow; their wisdom flows through me.

The holidays are just around the corner, and for some reason this year the season is hitting me differently. I was lucky enough to have both of my parents to celebrate holidays with in previous years, and especially fortunate to have had a mom that delighted in ensuring that the holidays were very special. I really, really miss her phone calls asking what everyone’s “order” is for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Yes, she was that mom who ensured that everyone’s favorites were made, making us all feel very special.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the fact that we are "ancestors in the making”. We tend to look back at our ancestors (I received a lot of kind notes about my last post about remembering our ancestors) but don’t always give a lot of thought about OUR role in our own lineage. As I learn to embrace my role as an emerging elder and with the holidays on the horizon, I am reminded of how much I love traditions - both carrying on old traditions and forming new ones.

One of the most meaningful traditions that I have experienced is the shared creation of “the jar”. My Grandma Jo (Johanna Andrea) lived in a farmhouse in rural North Dakota for most of her life with many relatives and friends nearby. Over the years, these friends and family would help “paper” the house (think wallpaper).

In the very early years, someone had the wonderful foresight to create a small hole in the wall through the plaster and place a glass jar inside. Perhaps it was this same person who began the tradition of writing notes to place in this jar every time they got together to paper the walls. Whoever was there to help would write in this jar. They were very simple notes describing what was currently happening with them and their family. So and so was born, so and so died, so and so got married - those types of updates.

Over time, the jar began to fill up and the tradition continued. Even after there was no need for papering (Grandma sprung for a drop ceiling and drywall), the tradition still continued with the holidays. Everyone knew that when we went to grandma’s house for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, or the Fourth of July - or if someone special was visiting from out of town - we would be writing notes to place in the jar. This became known as “writing in the jar”, and everyone knew what that meant.

I didn’t appreciate this tradition when I was young. Dare I say that I likely saw it as a major chore to take the time to “write in the jar”. But now that I’m older, I absolutely love going through those handwritten notes that date back to 1916!

I’ve tried resurrecting this tradition with my own family with mixed results. Now that I am writing about it, though, I will be gathering a jar and finding a location in our new house so that future generations can read about our crazy lives in 2024. Stories and memories are precious gifts that connect us to our past and shape our understanding of who we are. By preserving these stories, we offer future generations a window into their heritage, values, and the resilience of those who came before them.

Maybe you would like to start a tradition to preserve your family stories and memories! The holidays are a perfect time to begin a new tradition. Here are a few ideas:

​

Compile a Recipe Book with Stories

Family recipes are often linked to memories of gatherings, celebrations, and loved ones. Creating a recipe book with stories about each dish can preserve both culinary traditions and the memories associated with them. Include the origin of each recipe, who made it, and any special occasions it was prepared for. This not only keeps the recipes alive but also the stories that accompany them.

Create Time Capsules

A time capsule is a creative way to preserve stories and memories for future generations. You can fill a time capsule with letters, photos, small keepsakes, and written accounts of current events and family milestones. Set a date in the future for when the time capsule should be opened, and pass down the knowledge of its existence to ensure it remains part of your family’s legacy.

Create a Family Tree with Stories

Building a family tree is a great way to visually capture your lineage, but adding stories to it makes it even more meaningful. For each family member, include a brief biography, notable life events, and any stories or anecdotes that have been passed down. This turns the family tree into a rich tapestry of narratives and history.

Write Letters to Future Generations (this is, in essence, “writing in the jar” but with a specific purpose)

Writing letters to future generations is a meaningful way to leave behind your thoughts, values, and hopes. These letters can be addressed to your children, grandchildren, or even future descendants you’ll never meet. Share your experiences, the lessons you’ve learned, and the values you hold dear. These letters provide a personal connection and a sense of continuity for future generations.

​​I invite you to reflect on what it means to be an “ancestor in the making.” This phrase is a gentle reminder that we, too, are creating a legacy and carry with us the resilience of those who have come before us. Taking time to acknowledge this can be both humbling and empowering. It encourages us to live with intention and to honor our place within our family and our community. Just as our ancestors have guided us, we have the opportunity to leave behind seeds of wisdom, love, and resilience.

As I continue my soul's work with grief circles, individual guidance, and creating new resources, I'm reminded that it is up to us to take good care of ourselves and one another. Not much else matters in the end. I'll be hosting some special holiday-focused grief sessions coming up to provide support for the holidays - stay tuned! If you are grieving this holiday season, know that my heart is with you as you navigate the season.